A primary goal of parenting or teaching is to awaken the man within the child. It is to allow the child to grow in his independence. A parent or teacher is to come along the child as a helper, not a server. One who is served does not learn independence but impotence. The mother who feeds her child with a spoon but never allows the child use the spoon himself becomes a hindrance to the child’s natural desires to learn. She hinders the joy the child receives upon learning to do this simple task for himself. But a mother who helps her child creates opportunities for a child to do basic tasks for himself, praising him when done well. In this way the child also partakes in the joy of accomplishment and completes the task with joy.

Traditional discipline is “done well” when the child is rendered mute and motionless as a paralytic, obeying the will of the parent or teacher. The child obeys out of fear. A well disciplined child, on the other hand, though free to do as he likes, chooses actions agreeable to himself and to the community. Obedience comes from a deep respect for his parents, teacher, and for the other children. Discipline, for Maria, is not a fact but a way. There is only one rule to obey, be respectful of everyone and everything. The parent and teacher are to help the child by giving examples of proper social relations. They are to show how to properly interrupt someone who is busy or how to tell someone to move out of their way. To tell a child “no” without instructing how to properly accomplish their goals is to frustrate the child. A child does not inherently know what it means to be kind or respectful, he must be shown.